Baby with Sale

So, I have a baby, her name is Lulu, she is a two-year old kitten that Ty gave me for Christmas and we have systematically turned her into a princess. Apparently, princesses don't like their castle being for sale.

Here is what I believe she is thinking behind her crazy actions.

Cat thought #1) If I poop in my litter while a buyer is here and Mom and Dad are out then the buyer will think the house smell like cat shit and by the time my parents (because we are not owners, she would be offended by that term) get home it will be too late.

HUMAN SOLUTION; Take the princess with us during viewings

Cat thought #2) Since I can no longer poop before buyers get in my castle, I will make Dad and Mom regret catching me to take me for a nice drive out to the cottage, I will pee on Mom in the car, which will ruin one of her favorite new white shirts, which will make them leave me at home during these darn things, I promise not to purposely poop when buyers are coming.

HUMAN SOLUTION; Deal; you don't stink up the house, we will not confine you in a car.

Cat thought #3) Hmmm, there are an awful lot of people coming into my house today (realtor Open House) and no one seems to be paying any attention to what little-old-me seems to be doing, and it appears that, in their hurry, they have left a door open that has never been left open for cat exploration before, I should seize this opportunity and see what is there. 5 minutes later; seems that door just leads to a dirt floor with tons of cob-webs, but I did seem to find some interesting smells as I cannot seem to clean my whiskers off from all of the cobwebs I got into... hopefully Dad and Mom don't find out.

HUMAN SOLUTION; Email my realtor and remind her that our little princess is NEVER to be let into the basement and to please remind agents showing the house of the same - she likely has ate something I don't even want to think about and I am sure because of this little fiasco will be puking later tonight, luckily I have warranty on my new furniture to cover pet messes.

Cat thought #4) I have tried to shed more on the staircase, seems the other places in the house don't seem to upset Mom quite as much as shedding on the staircase, so while my castle is for sale, I will make her pay by shedding as much hair as possible on the staircase, which is the hardest to clean and the first thing buyers see when they walk in the door.

HUMAN SOLUTION; Swiffer the stairs weekly, which is a disgusting task because of said hair.

Cat thought #5) While making all of these little hurdles for my parents I will also act more loving and purr more when I do see them so that they can not get mad at me.

HUMAN SOLUTION; Take the love when you can get it, this princess has more mood swings then most humans I know, and she is adorable.

This is what I think Ms. Lulu Delovely Arnott-Atkinson thinks are her largest trials during house selling; man, I don't know how people with real babies can even attempt to sell their house. Must go - said princess has just squeezed her furry head into my glass of milk. There goes that!

xo,
S